Day 2: This is a Toast for the Douchebags.
Today, I was sitting at a red light, windows down, the hot summer and the music of the person next to me drifting through my car. It was the overplayed Chris Brown, “throw your glass in the air and say yeah” song. I could feel him drilling a hole in the side of my head, so I looked over, gave him an awkward half smile, and turned back to the light. The music got louder and then he began flipping through his ipod, playing half-second intros until he landed on nothing other than “Your Sex is on Fire”.
I looked back at him with a puzzled look, thinking it could only be sweet serendipity. Oh, no – I was wrong. I got the’ hey girl’ head nod and that lip curl that you see in photos when people are holding up their ice or showing their glocks.
The light changed, and of course my little Accord beat his oversized truck up the hill. I sped away, laughing at my little sitcom moment.
So today, I’m thankful for the douchebags, and thankful for the assholes. And even the scumbags, every one of them that I know… And I know a few.
Because without them, who would keep the #GTL hash tag alive? Who would make my girlfriends and I feel good about our asses? Whose grammar would I correct? (I do get a sick pleasure out of that). Whose abs would I stare at to pass time on the treadmill?
As in every balanced ecosystem, they have their place. Sure, they’re a bit confused – like the bird that flies into a closed window. At first you feel kind of bad… but mostly, it’s just funny. And the best part is, they never get the joke.
So thanks, douchebags. You bring me a lot of joy.